Today, I went to my in-laws house. It was the second visit of this type. Not an "in anticipation" of Christmas visit. No. It was a vigil. A bedside vigil the Hardyman's have been holding for the past few days for Grandpa.
You see, he was released from Hospice on Dec 14th because he didn't "meet the criteria". For the last 10 days, Grandpa has rested peacefully at his daughter and son-in-law's house.
I prayed and oh, I prayed. A wish went from my heart to our God. "Please, Lord, let him stay for one last Christmas."
Maybe it was a selfish request. I don't know. I do know that Grandpa lived his life in the ebb and flow of family. I suspect Grandpa's heart is tied so intrinsically with those of his family, he has stayed for Christmas.
As I looked upon his face today, the deep gasping breaths, the body shrunk beneath the covers, it was in his face, in his eyes, maybe the heart was warring with the body that had decided that enough was enough...I don't know.
All I do know is that I saw Grandpa's past collide with my husband's future. A legacy of loyalty to family, a heart so giving, a strength of will to live.
So, I sit here 1.5 hours till midnight on Christmas Eve blogging because I've sent my husband to his last goodbye to his Grandpa. A Grandpa who I love so much my heart hurts. The nurse says it will be soon.
A night of Santa intermingled with a night of grief. I don't know what to do with myself. The house is quiet, kids are snuggled down, cats sleeping beneath the tree, Puppy snuggle away, rabbits flopping...
To you and yours, have a blessed Christmas.
Happily, handily, hooking my crochet and occasionally knit projects.
Hope you and your family find some peace.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your Grandpa! I have deleted what I am writing 5 times because I know words just aren't enough at a time like this. When my Grandad went I took great comfort in knowing that it was his time and I knew at the end he wanted to go. He is at peace now and I am now in a postion to remember the good times and laugh about them. I hope you get to a place where you are happy when thinking about the good times because I am sure there are many. It sounds like he touched a lot of lifes and will live on in a lot of hearts. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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