As the days roll closer to the arrival of the boys, my thoughts are consumed with the pending event. The question on HOW they will arrive is one I have experienced with each of my births. James and Jesse's births were so calm and dare I say it? Easy.
I felt such success and empowerment from their births. They were very typical hospital births with me trusting the attending doctor completely. I didn't question the care they were instructing the nurses to give me. When my water broke with Jesse I assumed I would have a very natural or as close to natural birth as I could get in a hospital setting. Instead I was given pitocin and when that order came through from the doctor, I knew immediately to order an epidural. These interventions were acceptable to me. My mantra was "whatever it takes for me and the babies to make it through safely".
I realized birth trauma and regret were real live living entities in the birthing world. Mentally, I didn't want to live with regrets surrounding such a momentous occasion. So, I felt flexibility in my birth expectations was the best way to go, for me.
Now with the imminent arrival of the boys looming on the horizon, I have found myself in a new position. My doctor has spent my pregnancy PLANNING to deliver the boys by c-section. I have spent my pregnancy PLANNING to deliver vaginally. My doctor gave me criteria that had to be met for her to be comfortable with a vaginal delivery. We met them and she still tried to schedule a c-section date!
I am not even expecting an all natural delivery. There are interventions I am comfortable with, but c-section? I'd like to avoid it at all costs. So when the babies, yes, both of them, turned breech at 32 weeks I knew a c-section was a possibility. Friends suggested Spinning Babies as a possible resource. I read through the website and got the basic idea of how they recommend trying to manipulate the babies into turning head down.
Twins are trickier but the concepts seemed sound. After explaining to Jon the concepts and my ideas for how we could try, he was on board. Jon is suspicious of some of my crunchy moms suggestions. Hello, home births, placenta encapsulation, and a few others. Spinning Babies was a little out there for him, since he related it to whacky chiropractor moves. I have been with him long enough to know how to explain and get his cooperation, i.e. relate it to sex. And voila, a few fun sessions and both babies were blissfully head down.
Now, I am in a unique position of wanting a vaginal birth, the babies cooperated and my doctor still wants to schedule a c-section. Remember I said I trusted the doctors with each of my previous deliveries? So the experience of saying "No" to doctor recommendations is a new one. I am getting lots of practice.
The one thing I have always advocated is happy mom, happy baby. Will I be ok of things go south and I need a c-section? Absolutely. Do I want the chance to deliver my babies how I want? Absolutely.
There is a kernel inside me that has popped that wants to share and encourage every mom to strive for the birth experience they want. I am having to fight, voice, advocate and literally repeat repeat repeat my wishes to my doctors. It may be easier to roll over and trust them implicitly to do what they feel comfortable doing, but that isn't ok. Moms have rights too in the birthing room.
The rest of the story will be written over the coming weeks. I look forward to meeting the boys. I look forward to a successful delivery. I am looking forward.
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